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I 'm wife, a mother , a daughter, a sister,a friend,a crazy faerie loving, art creating, born in England living in the states, blond hair blue eyed, tea drinking, mixed media, atc swapper, digital artist, blogger ,Facebook, reader, writer, old movie watcher, paper addicted, high heel lover, dog owner,cupcake eater, creatively eccentric.. party hat wearer. Welcome to my blog. Where I hope you'll stay awhile and come back often. Hugs Wendy

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Wednesday, August 31, 2011

STILL LOOKING FOR MY HAPPY PLACE

Thank you to all of you that left comments.. they made me cry . It makes me sad to think that it is going on to so many kids and so many of us have stories too ... One of those comment came from my own sister Julie and I wish I could have been here Julie because you know I would have been down that school kicking the hell out of those bullies for you... but as you know that never really helps...

The sad thing is after asking my now collage aged son if he thought our decision to let the school know that he was being bullied helped him...  Do you know what he said  "No it just made the bully more threatening and menacing"
His school life only improved in High school but not until after his freshman years has he put it "you still have idiots in your freshman year"..


So really talking to the school which I have done in person and email maybe will help and maybe not will help my younger son... Maybe the schools need to look at bullying in a different way instead of just talking to the bully .. they should be trying more to help the victims with a group, a safe place ... it is a well know fact bullies pick on the kids when they are friendless... they play to their friends making themselves  appear big and that standing up to bullies works if the bulled child is empowered...

SO why isn't there clubs/ groups or meeting for bullied kids that they can come too to talk with other kids in the same boat... the bullies tent to get to they prey when they are walking from classes or waiting outside..... so have a bully angels  ( older kids who them self have been bullied so they know what it's like) befriend these kids... have teachers who themselves have been bullied run these group because unless you are been through the experience of hiding in crowds and trying to stay out of the bullies way... you can have no idea how alone you feel.  Dreading each day at school.

 Ultimately we need let the kids know that even if it feels that they are alone, they are not... there are some very famous people who have been bullied and there is a light at the end on the tunnel .. be strong ...  your are firework. Don't let a bully define your life.

and lastly and the sad truth bulling is in our nature... monkeys and apes will bully each other.. but as humans you would like we would have thought a way to stop this..

Bullying isn't going to go away on its own, the policy of talking the bully to stop clearly isn't working..So maybe it time for a change.

5 comments:

Sassy Marsha said...

I am a bit behind in posts. I am so sorry to hear that your sons is/was bullied.

Sadly, it is a common practice nowadays, even adults do it.

I've never been one to be part of a "clique" and they exist everywhere, even in BLOGLAND!! I don't think (not that I can remember anyway) being bullied but I have been made fun and it hurts.

Where has morality, kindness, ethics, human decency gone? How many people are actually nice to one another, say thank you, you're welcome, smile . . . I could go on and on . .

I wish I had an answer . . . . sending you and your son a big ((HUG)) he will grow up to be a man to be proud of. As for the bullies, who knows what path they will take, I hope a better one.

xxoo
Marsha

donna said...

My twin brother was small for his age and wore glasses. In grade 1 and 2 he was bullied especially on his way to school. A young man in the neighborhood took notice and started walking my brother to school. The man wore full leathers and sometimes was on his motorcycle. The bullies were in awe. That was over 50 years ago and I have never seen anything work better. Cheers..Donna

Kim said...

Hi Wendy, I'm just catching up on blog posts and wanted to say I know exactly how you feel. My son, who is now 20, was bullied in school and on the school bus. He's a nice kid, a computer geek, quiet and soft spoken. All of that made him a target. Contacting the school made it worse and it was like a challenge to the bullies to see what they could get away with. We got our son involved in the chess club which helped him find a group of friends and it helped him immensely. As his self esteem increased, the bullying decreased. BUT I drove him to school everyday rather than having him ride that school bus until he could drive on his own. Sometimes you just have to do whatever it takes to make sure they are safe. I'm thinking of you! Hugs! xoxo

Mina said...

You raise some very good points here in that there should be more done within the school. Perhaps you can make suggestions outlining some of these wonderful ideas and see if something helpful can get started.

My daughter had a friend who was sexually threatened on her school bus by an older boy almost daily and her own mother did nothing but told her daughter to "just ignore him." I was enraged and called the school and got no satisfaction so I found out who the bus driver was and called her and told her what was happening. She was so angry that she eventually found a way to get the boy kicked off her bus. Sometimes we have to go the back way. I don't know if there is one in your case but if there is, open that door. You and your son are in my thoughts and I wish closure for him

just me said...

Ithink that is a great idea to have some kind of club, we have leadership classes starting in grade school here might be a wonderful project for them. To be in leadership you have to be nominated by a teacher, who usually see first hand who the bullies are. I have a kindergartner this year so will be back joining the PTG, I think you have inspired me to bring up bullying as a topic that we as parents involved in the school need to take on not just fundraising and carnivals.

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